Self-reflection - Thoughts
I feel at this stage in the year it is important to continuously be reflective and asking questions of my self and my profession. The more I question now - the easier it will be to make key decisions later on (and i am a sucker for decision avoiding and being COMPLETELY indecisive at the best of times). As always being self reflective is difficult, especially as i feel so much is riding on the decision I make now, and in all honesty - the pressure is having an adverse effect. Instead of being concise about what I want to do and achieve with my future - I am giving myself WAY too many options and getting nowhere.
My History
For instance, I have been thinking about myself and my practice since I first began university in 2008.-Yes 2008! I went to uni and had to leave due to family bereavement and spent 4 long years saving up money to come back to uni and pursue my dream that is illustration and a career within the design industry/creative arts. Working full time in various insurance agencies and the very cool but very academic Royal Society of Chemistry (as a proof reader/editor of scientific world wide journals) provided me with the dosh but highlighted to me the importance of my career choices.
My practice and what I want to do with my future has never left my mind. This has been a passion of mine since starting primary school and coming from an artistic/creative family - decisions surrounding my future has always been a hot-topic. Maybe this is why I feel the pressure to make the right decisions - yet feel unable too.
Questions & No answers
How do I relieve this pressure? Would I be right to tell myself that the decisions I make now are NOT the be-all an end-all? Can I change my creative presence/identity and all that comes with it (logo, online presence etc) later on? Can I re-invent myself as a creative practitioner should i not like the decisions I make now? These may all sound like ridiculous things to ask and there may be obvious answers to them all, however I am yet to feel reassured, especially with the current pressure being put on on me whilst completing this course. I also want to make the most of the opportunities I have here whilst at uni, therefore the right decisions made now means i can begin building the blocks of a great career - one that will stick with me instead of change as soon as I leave because I hate everything I have done. - I see this as a silly waste of effort and a step backwards at a time when I cant go backwards anymore-now is crunch time.
Anyway more thoughts on me me me (how self-centred I know! -Really sorry!)
*****************************************************************
Attempt at personal practice self-reflection/analysis:
WHAT DO I WANT TO DO?
- Be successful - I want to make it big
- Be in the public eye as well as being modest
- I don't want to limit myself with a specific area of practice (I have no specialism and would like to capitalise on this in anyway I can)
- I want to have my hand in many pockets, build as many creative friendships and contacts as possible, broadening my personal practice and creative possibilities/prospects for the future
- Make my career a life long dedication to my passion - creativity.
WHERE DO I SEE MYSELF?
- Happy to work freelance (no solid income I see as being a huge motivation - despite the prospect of being extremely hard work)
- Happy to work as part of a current design/creative business under an art director etc,
- Happy to work for a popular and industry leading agency
- Happy to work alongside other like-minded creatives as part of
- I would even be happy to set up my own studio-were creatives can join me for evening classes, live art events, practitioners talks, use hot desks alongside me, showcase my work and others in a kind of gallery/cafe/studio setting (very Lemon Collection - Life's a Pitch....can it be more than just a dream?)
- The other dream:
gallery visits (AUS, NZ etc as well as London & NY) - the move to online is a powerful
one and make ambitious prospects like this more plausible and ultimately achievable.
-- I like working with people as well as being an independent solo practitioner - i have
confidence in myself that if i was a solo creative without input from other - would be
able to keep up to date with all goings on in the creative industry and push myself and
presence globally.
-- Why Bali? Why Indonesia half way around the world? - I found myself here. I struggle with mental health issues as well as physical issues (bloody arthritis!) and this is the one place I felt I could be myself and have my mind feel at ease, as well as feeling comfortable with who I am as a person. Great way of life also :)
It is a creative hub, close to AUS - another vibrant country and I feel experiences such
as exploring new cultures, cities, wildlife, oceans etc - really helps to continuously
inform my practice and keep me grounded in what inspires me.
WHAT PRACTITIONERS DO I ASPIRE TO BE LIKE?
Too many to count as always but here are a key few:
- Mr Penfold (links to urban, live, street-art, key in the music scene and promotion of this area, big name in fashion / fashionable products - working alongside big names to produce urban apparel, skating products, artist products and tools etc). Works with spray paint, acrylic, pen and ink, screen-print and has many exhibitions world-wide. He is self employed.
- Leif Podhajsky (graphic designer, art director, visual artist - links to music and motion graphic provide animated visuals used in projection based works at festival for leading artists, as well as providing promotional material such as album artwork & all things merchandise) Primarily uses digital techniques to manipulate analogue textures and media. Distorts the mundane and reality as we see it, his work described as "striking abstractions of nature – mirrored vistas, engulfing waves, rippling, melting cosmic landscapes". Pushes boundaries as well as perceptions - just like I hope too
- Hattie Newman, Owen Gildersleeve, Yulia Brodskaya -- all leaders in their own right in a specialism extremely close to my heart - paper cut and engineering. I have a whole bookmarks library full of many practitioners in this field, however these 3 have informed my practiCe the most over the years. All self-employed and playing the game as it should be played - big and successful, however on their own terms I'm sure. This play with media and scale appeals to many many sectors and industries, fashion, music, advertising, animation, product design, 2D - 3D - to be even close to the level of these guys would feel like I have "made it".
WHAT STUDIOS / GALLERIES / STORES / AGENCIES / CREATIVE BUSINESSES?
(That I could approach / get involved with as a part of my professional practice)
- AOI - http://www.theaoi.com/
- CIA - http://www.centralillustration.com/
- House of Illustration - http://www.houseofillustration.org.uk/
- Duke studios - http://duke-studios.com/
- Colours May Vary / Munro House:
- http://munro-house.co.uk/
- Mags: COLOSSAL, JUXTAPOZ, FRIEZE, BOOOOOOOM!
- http://www.juxtapoz.com/
- https://www.frieze.com/editorial
- http://www.booooooom.com/
- Its Nice That: - http://www.itsnicethat.com/categories/illustration
- Dutch Uncle - http://dutchuncle.co.uk/
- Handsome Frank: - http://www.handsomefrank.com/
- Heart Agency: - http://www.heartagency.com/
WHAT IS MY PLACE?
- Anywhere
*****************************************************************
This is of course all extremely ambitious and i am not entirely sure if aiming big is the way to go forward (especially with the high chance of being knocked down, underachieving what I want and ultimately disappointing myself.) I also in no way feel I am good enough in my profession as an illustrator or creative practitioner to achieve any of the above...I haven't even got the balls to showcase any of my work online until now and in response to PPP2. I need to up my game!